Things That Damon Would NEVER Say Chapter 2

Things That Damon Would NEVER Say Chap 2

Damon: –singing- You're my honey bunch sugar plum pumpy yumpy yumpkin. You're my sweety pie.

Stefan: Lord save us all.

Damon: -singing- I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my stout. When you tip me over here me shout: Tip me over and pour me out!

Damon: I've changed my ways. I want to drink Bambi blood and frolick in the flowery fields and help people like my goody goody two shoes little brother does. Also I wanna dance in the rain of Spain!

Stefan: I think I like you just the way you are. -looks around nervously- 

Damon: I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. It's made of platsic, it's fantastic!

Stefan: -stares at Damon with big eyes-

Damon: -walks up to Elena acting gangster- Yo whatssup bitch?

Elena: -Slaps Damon hard- Don't ever call me that again!

Damon: Aw C'mon surgar, you know you liked it. -winks-

Elena: -Grabs a glass filled with water that has vervain in it and throws it at him- Maybe now you will learn some manners! -walks off-

Damon: For now on, I'm becoming a vegiterian. No more chewing on people. I wonder if I can hunt pink bunnies.

Damon: Stefan, can I have a night light for my room? I'm scared of the dark.

Stefan: How can you be scared of the dark if you're a VAMPIRE?

Damon: I just am, ok?

Damon: Does anybody wanna go forlick in the flowery fields and chew on little bunnies?

Stefan: Nah, I'm good.

Damon: -eyes widen- Ohhhh shiny! I wanna touch the shiny object. Touché!

Stefan: Damon, that's the sun. If you touch it you will die. Or even get close to it for that matter.

Damon: But I'm attached to shiny objects. They're so pretty!

Stefan: Oh god.

Damon: Does this dress make my butt look big?

Stefan: -slaps face- DAMON GET OUT OF THAT DRESS NOW! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!

Damon: Stefan, I need to know if I look fat in it!

Stefan: -rips the dress off of Damon- I SAID TAKE IT OFF!

Damon: -standing there naked- Stefan?

Stefan: -breaths out angrily- What?

Damon: Do I look fat now?

Stefan: ..............

A/N: Sorry it was short but I don't know what else to write! Please review and give me some ideas!