The Things That Damon Would NEVER Say Chapter 5

Things that Damon Would NEVER say Chapter 5

Damon: *sings* it seems today that all you see, is violence in movies and sex on TV...

Stefan: sooo..... What is your favorite book, Damon?

Damon: My favorite book is Twilight. I think that Edward is the best vampire on this planet! 

Stefan: *manga sweat drop* You've got to be kidding me!

Damon: Poop butterflies are yummy! 

Stefan: 0_o

Damon: You are my sunshine my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You never know dear how much I love you. So please don't take my sunshine away.

Katherine: um.... Ew.... *walks away*

Damon: *cries like a big baby*

Damon: *dressed up like Elvis, singing* you ain't nothin but a hound dog! Cryin' all the time! You ain't nothin but a hound dog! Cryin' all the time! Well you ain't caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine!

Stefan: Is he high?

Elena: *nods* yep I think so.

Stefan: He's way too drunk. Probably the worst I've ever seen him.

Damon: *singing* I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was! To catch them is my real test. To train them is my cause! I will travel across the land, searching far and wide. These Pokemon to understand; the power that's inside! Pokemon! Gotta catch em! It's just you and me! I know it's my destiny. Pokemon! Oh your my best friend, in a world we must defend! Pokemon, gotta catch em! It's all so true! Our courage will pull us through!  Gotta catch them all! POKEMON! 

Stefan: Pokemon aren't real Damon.

Damon: *lip quivers* what? 

Elena: They aren't real!

Damon: *eyes get watery* bu-but I wanted to be a pokemon master! *crying*

Katherine: You are so pathetic.

Damon: I like rainbow nerds.

Damon: Your the best little brother a big brother could ask for! I love you Stefan!

Stefan: Umm...ok....

Damon: Stefan, can I go play on the playground in Burger King while you get us our food?

Stefan: NO! You are too big for that and that is for little kids!

Damon: *starts throwing a tantrum* BUT I WANNA GO PLAY ON THE PLAYGROUND!!!! 

Stefan: *grumbles* fine! Go play! 

Damon: Yay! *races happily off towards the playground*

Stefan: *shakes his head* 

Damon: Miley Cyrus is the best singer ever! *sings* put your hands up, your playin my song the butterflies fly away. Noddin my head like yeah, moving my hips like yeah. It's a party in the USA, party in the USA!

Stefan: Please, no pop music.

Damon: *giggles like a little school girl* 

Damon: *sets some cookies and milk out on the table*

Stefan: Um, what are you doing?

Damon: Setting these out for Santa Claus! What do you think I'm doing?

Stefan: Santa Claus isn't real! How many times do I have to tell you that??

Damon: He is real!! People that don't believe will get les presents! Besides, I want him to bring me my Dora the Explorer kit.

Stefan: I'm....going to bed.

Damon: Ew......

Stefan: What is it Damon?

Damon: Those two people on TV are kissing and that's yucky!

Stefan -___-

Damon: Look Stefan it's a pretty butterfly! *chases after butterfly*

Stefan: I knew he had mental problems, but I didn't know how severe they were.

Damon: I can't wait for Easter so the Easter Bunny can bring me lots of candy!

Stefan: *gulps* um Damon, the Easter Bunny won't be coming this year.

Damon: And why not? *eyes widen* you killed him didn't you? YOU KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!!!!! *starts crying*

Stefan: Damon I didn't know! It was just a such big, fat, round, plump bunny with lots of blood inside that I couldn't help myself. *licks lips*

Damon: YOU MURDERER! 

Stefan: *sigh* I'm sorry Damon, ok?

Damon: THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT OK!!!

A/N: Haha sorry it took me awhile to update! I might update again soon. If I don't then I will post an author's note saying that I'm done with this story. Please review and thanks for taking the time to read!